


Taking Control

by EvilRegal98



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Eventual SwanQueen, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Mostly set during season 2, Past Marital Rape, Pregnancy, Pregnancy through rape, Rape, Regal Believer, Snow and Charming are not idiots, prompt, slowburn, this story is dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 07:43:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10962780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilRegal98/pseuds/EvilRegal98
Summary: Something shifted in Emma's eyes, and both women could feel it. Something just... snapped. And before the blonde sheriff could think about what she was doing, her arm pressed against Regina's throat.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: When Henry goes to the hospital after eating the turnover she rapes Regina and gets her pregnant. When they return form FTL she tells Emma and they go to counseling together to overcome the rape and fall in love and I also see Snow White and David as very supportive of Regina when they find out about what Emma did.
> 
>  
> 
> This story follows canon up until 1x21. I’ve taken some liberties with the prompt. Hope you enjoy. This story is also on fanfiction.net up until chapter 11 but I'm currently changing everything up. Therefor I'm updating here with every rewrite I do. 
> 
> Disclaimer: none of these characters belong to me. This story is not profitable and is meant for entertainment purpose only. 
> 
> Trigger warning: rape and violence!

 

It was a sunny afternoon when Regina was planning to eliminate Emma Swan once and for all. The radio she had in her kitchen was playing some upbeat pop song she didn’t recognized and the leaves of her apple tree where softly swaying in the wind. It was all in all a great day and Regina was feeling confident in her plans.

 

That was, until Henry came stomping into the kitchen, still wearing his dirty shoes, mind you.

 

“What are you baking?” There was a suspicious glimmer in his eyes as he turned his nose up at the plastic Tupperware sitting on the kitchen counter. Dropping his backpack in the corner, he saw the way his mother’s – no, _Regina’s_ back suddenly straightened, spooked by his arrival.

 

“Henry,” she breathed, wiping her hands on the pale yellow apron he had gotten her for her birthday three years ago. “I didn’t know you’d be home so early, weren’t you supposed to see Archie right after school?”

 

He paused, inching his eyebrow upwards. “No…” it wasn’t like his mother to forget his appointments. “That’s tomorrow,” he noticed she was very tense when she nodded and turned around again. “But what are you baking?”

 

Forcing a false smile onto her face, she hoped it was radiating reassurance, Regina turned around again. “Oh, it’s nothing honey, just an apple turnover I whipped up from scratch.”

 

His ears popped at the word apple and he frowned, immediately thinking of a specific curse that went very well with apples. “Is it evil?” he accused.

 

“Henry!” Regina said scandalized and a little hurt. Henry was right of course, but it still stung to have his disdain so clearly directed at her. _Take a breath, Regina_ , she told herself and sighed. “I’m hurt you think so badly of me Henry, it was just meant as a nice gesture towards miss Swan-“

 

“No, it’s not!” he cut her off harshly, stomping his feet. “It’s evil, isn’t it?! You want to hurt Emma!” frustrated tears appeared in his dark eyes. Why is everyone always lying to him, no one in this town is ever honest!

 

“Henry, that’s enough!” she realized she was yelling and she never yells, not at Henry. But there was only so much hate she could handle from her son and she’d reached her limit for the day. “It’s just a turnover, Henry and that’s final. Now I don’t want to hear any more of that curse nonsense!” traitorous tears filled her eyes and Regina felt the need to run. “I love you, Henry and I promise things will get better again. But please, stop throwing baseless accusations my way. I know you feel like I’ve been a terrible to you, but please believe when I tell you that I am trying to be the best mother I can be.”

 

Henry was motionless as he stared back at her. Regina couldn’t detect any emotion in his eyes except disdain and it broke her heart. “Well, you can stop trying,” he spat, “I don’t need you, I have my real mother back now,” he turned his back and ran upstairs, still wearing his damn shoes.

 

Regina wanted to burst out in tears and simultaneously throw a chair through the window. She wondered where she went wrong as a mother that her little boy could be so stone cold with his words, but somewhere in the back of her mind a voice explained the thing she had already known for the past ten years. _How else would a child raised by the Evil Queen turn out?_

* * *

 

The next morning, Regina found her little boy lying unconscious on the kitchen floor, blue lips and shallow breathing. Cursed apple turnover lying in his limp hand, a single bite cruelly smirking back at her.

 

The scream that left her body sounded inhuman.

 

* * *

 

Blonde locks swept behind her like a cape as she sprinted down Main Street and towards the only hospital in Storybrooke. In all her numbness she remembered she left her coffee cup sitting on her desk back at the station, the coffee probably well on its way to going cold, then she quickly pushed the thought away and scolded herself for thinking about something so trivial while Regina’s – no _her_ son was perhaps already dead.

 

She bursts through blue double doors and into the main reception area. She ignored the pleasantly smiling woman behind the desk and instead caught those perfectly coiffed locks which belonged to none other than Regina Mills in the corner of her eyes. “Regina!” she yelled, not caring about the annoyed looks she got for doing so. “Regina, what the fuck happened?!”  she was way past decorum at this state.

 

The mayor looked up, tears glistening in red eyes. “He – I found him, I just found him lying on the floor,” Regina managed through choked sobs as she gripped the material of Emma’s red pleather jacket in shaking fists. “He wasn’t breathing, oh God.”

 

Emma couldn’t speak, worry constricting her voice. She just nodded, untangling Regina’s hands from her jacket. Regina released her and instead started hugging herself just as she had been doing before Emma arrived.

 

“I’ll – I’ll just go check on him,” Emma took a deep breath and stepped through the door, leaving Regina behind to wallow in her guilt. The room was dead quiet safe for the constant beeping of several monitors. Henry looked so tiny in that large hospital bed, all sorts of wires connected to the stickers on his chest.

 

“I’m so sorry kid”

 

* * *

 

It was a coma and they weren’t sure he was ever going to wake up. That’s what Whale had told them. Emma had run out off the room and Regina remained, glued to the plastic chair she was sitting on. The guilt was consuming her alive while she watched Henry’s chest go up and down and up and down in a slow, artificial rhythm.

 

As long as his chest moved, Regina would stay put.

 

The doctors said they hadn’t yet found any indication as to what may have caused this, but Regina knew, Regina had _always_ known because she loved Henry and everything she loved died. Either at her own hands or those of someone she trusted.

 

_Stupid girl!_

She should have known better, should have taken precautions. Fists were clenched tight and crescent shaped indentations marked the palms of her hands. Regina winced in pain, but kept on pressing. It was _her_ fault, it should be _her_ lying in that hospital bed and not her sweet little boy, her little prince who was not so little anymore and who hated her more by every inch he grew. Exposing her child to magic in a world where magic was unpredictable – fatal even, how _stupid_ was she?!

 

And now Henry paid the price for her stupidity.

 

Someone always paid the price.

 

Never her, even though Regina was the one who wanted to die the most.

 

* * *

 

Emma ran until her lungs burned, eventually finding herself back at the station. She threw the door to her office open and locked it behind herself. It was here, it had to be otherwise she was screwed. Henry had trusted her with it. Her hands shook as she tried to get the key in the lock. It was so small and she had to strain her muscles to get them under control.

 

He wasn’t dead, he _couldn’t_ die.

 

Just a coma, just a goddamn coma.

 

Emma let out a loud sigh as she saw the book was still there. The thick book with its weathered cover. Brown and gold. _‘Once upon a time…’_. The title suddenly sounded mocking, bringing up a memory she could now cry about instead of the earlier giggle it elicited.

 

_‘I wanted Henry to have the most important thing anyone can have in life: hope.’_

Mary Margaret’s voice echoed in her mind and Emma reached forward, placing the heavy book on top of the desk, her fingers brushing the gold lettering.

 

Maybe hope was indeed what she needed.

 

Emma opened the book, stroking her fingers over the little baby girl in the tree, swaddled in a white and purple baby blanket that reminded her so much of her own. It was the little girl that Henry insisted was her.

 

_“Emma.”_

She didn’t even get the chance to be confused when hundreds of images started to attack her brain.

 

* * *

 

 “You should lie down, Madam Mayor. We have a bed available if you please,” the nurse with the kind smile said softly as she went over Henry’s chart. “We will be sure to wake you if there are any developments.”

 

“No, that is not necessary,” Regina wiped the salty tears from her cheeks. ‘Thank you, though,” and she meant it, the woman had been nothing but kind.

 

The nurse looked somewhat displeased as she sighed. “Alright then, but I’ll be down in a bit to bring you a bite to eat,” and before Regina could even protest because truly, she wouldn’t be able to get even a bite through her throat, the nurse left the room.

 

* * *

 

“You did this!” Emma snarled as she pushed through the blue double doors for the second time that day. Her eyes locked on the Mayor, as she bared her teeth in anger. The woman looked confused as she stiffly stood up from her chair. Emma had no idea what she was doing, but she was just so _angry_ she no longer cared. She knew about everything, every fucking thing. And if she’d only believed Henry earlier, then he would still be happily talking her ear off, Emma was sure of it. Regina ruined _her_ son. And now she needed to avenge him.

 

For the first time Emma saw a hint of fear in Regina’s dark eyes, and it felt _thrilling_.

 

Regina opened those painted lips to utter a plea, a lie, anything. But before she managed to even form the words, Emma roughly pulled her close. Regina smelled coffee on the woman’s breath when Emma growled in her face. “I know what you are and what you’ve fucking done, you witch,” and just like that, Regina felt a chill go up her spine. Those few words paralyzed her and she didn’t even struggle as the taller woman pulled her up so high, Regina swore she could hear her silk blouse ripping.

 

“You _cursed_ my son,” there was a murderous glimmer in Emma’s eyes, showing the sheriff was dead serious. If Emma wasn’t so angry she would’ve felt ridiculous for uttering the word ‘curse’. But images of Snow White and a little baby in the trunk of a tree reassured her. Regina is the Evil Queen and she must be punished.

 

“I don’t-“ every fiber in Regina’s being screamed _DENY!_ , she had no magic, no way to defend herself. Those emerald eyes shone brightly of hate and Regina didn’t recognize the blonde woman who still had a tight, bruising grip on her upper arm.

 

The hall was quiet for it was almost midnight. Therefor no one saw Emma roughly pulling the Mayor towards the nearest supply closet. She took advantage of the way Regina stumbled on her four inch heels and pressed her harshly against the metal closet, her forearm crushing the Mayor’s windpipe. Regina was wheezing in protest, painted nails scraping against the sheriff’s flesh as she tried to get away.

 

“Don’t you try to deny it, you monster! You’re the _fucking_ Evil Queen!” the flinch wasn’t even satisfactory for Emma. She saw red and spat more insults in the Mayor’s face. “If he dies, you die too you bitch! Now tell me, is all of it true?!”

 

The realization that Regina had nowhere to escape to, no point barb, no words coated in venom, was actually very calming. Now that Emma knew, it was as if a large weight had lifted off her shoulders, a weight that had been there for twenty-eight years. Maybe if she just laid everything bare, they would grant her the favor of a fast execution. Maybe a quick beheading in front of the clock tower to add some irony.

 

Regina wheezed again and the arm against her throat let up somewhat, allowing her to form words again. “Yes, it’s all true. Everything in that damn book.”

 

Something shifted in the air and both women could feel it. Emma’s eyes turned a shade darker and it was as if something just… snapped. Before Emma, or Regina for that matter could figure out what exactly happened, the sheriff’s arm was once again harshly pressed against her already bruised throat.

 

Regina lifted her hands towards the arm, scratching and clawing flesh open until blood started flowing. But Emma didn’t care, somehow couldn’t care anymore. She just needed to inflict as much pain as possible and there was only one was she could think of that could conjure up such a feeling of complete helplessness and terror.

 

Her free hand started clawing at Regina’s expensive looking blouse, popping button by button as she watched how Regina’s eyes filled with recognizable, bloodcurdling fear. “Wha-“ Regina squeaked as Emma’s intentions became clear. She heard the sounds of fabric ripping and buttons falling on the linoleum floor.

 

“You need to be punished!” Emma growled, spit flying in Regina’s face. Emma’s eyes were pitch black by now as she cupped her hand over a full breast.

 

And then Regina started to panic. She fought with all her might, thrashing and clawing. But the lack of air made her dizzy and the sheriff’s physical strength was overpowering. She tried to scream but only a high-pitched wheeze left her. She could take whippings, beatings over this and had done so before. She could take anything, but _not_ this. Anything but this. Never again this.

 

But when the cup of her dark purple bra was pulled down and one full breast spilled out, Regina froze. Suddenly she was back under a king of sixty, sweat dripping on her chest, the smell of wine and old cheese surrounding her. She was about to scream the demons name when there was a sharp pinch burning in her nipple, bringing her back towards the present. “Don’t-“ the wandering hand left her breast and moved lower, bunching the fabric of her black pencil skirt up around Regina’s slim waist to reveal matching purple panties. There was a sickening sound of fabric ripping as Emma pulled the material down and out of the way, throwing it somewhere behind her.

 

Burning hot tears spilled over her cheeks as two slender fingers roughly penetrated her and a warm mouth bit her breast. Regina’s mind switched off and she had no idea how long it took, it could be seconds, it could be minutes. All she knew is that her blood turned to ice and she started screaming, using up that precious air until she saw stars _. “STOP!”_

 

Maybe it was the scream, or the sob, or the way Regina’s knee harshly connected with Emma’s stomach, but the blonde stumbled back. She reached out behind her to stop herself from falling “Oh god,” Emma’s face filled with pure horror at what she had just done. This was so, so wrong. No one deserved to be _raped_! What the fuck was happening to her?! Her eyes turned back to their shining emerald and Emma stared at the usually cold and stoic woman, now reduced to a sobbing mess. Regina sank down to the floor, one hand pushing her skirt back down and the other trying to cover her chest.

 

Emma looked at her feet, trying and failing to ignore the almost ruined panties that laid on the ground next to her. She lifted her hand, finding wetness and blood on her fingers from where she’d worked her way into Regina by force.

 

Oh God, she had caused the woman to bleed?

 

“Regina I-“

 

“Get out,” the words left her in a broken whisper, her voice hoarse from the constant pressure on her throat.

 

“But, I-“

 

“Get out!”

 

It was a heartbreaking scream that Emma could never forget.

 

* * *

 

“Mom,” the words sounded hoarse as Henry opened his eyes and looked around. Everyone was staring into the distance with a blank look on their faces, it was almost as if they were remembering. _Wait, they were remembering!_

 

“You broke the curse!”

 

Emma smiled tiredly. “Yeah kid, we did.”

 

* * *

 

Regina didn’t care she was stumbling through the hospital with her shirt ripped open. She didn’t are about the burning ache between her legs, or the fact that she swore there was blood trickling down the inside of her thigh from where Emma had torn the delicate flesh.

 

She just needed to catch a glimpse, just a glimpse, of her son and then she could go home to lick her wounds in peace.

 

Well, at least until they came to execute her.

  

    


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: none of these characters belong to me. This story is non-profitable and is meant for entertainment purpose only. 
> 
> Trigger warning: references to rape and past abortion via magic!

She’d finally succeeded. It didn’t matter that her main motivation behind her decision to help had been to put a stop to those dirty looks Henry shot at her every time she saw him. That didn’t matter at all because she’d done it. Regina didn’t know why but the air felt easier to breathe, now that she’d found a way to bring back miss Swan and her annoying, insipid mother.

 

It probably had to do with the fact that Henry’s sole caretaker would no longer be that naïve Prince Charming whose solution to every problem seemed to be running straight towards it, sword first. He seemed to have forgotten his civility when remembering his true self. How ironic. But of course, Henry obviously didn’t see it that way. He was probably having a blast, living in that tiny loft, eating god knows what, but most likely not something Regina would ever allow in her house. The thought of Henry caused a sharp pain to erupt in her heart. Her little baby boy who hated her so much was probably relieved to finally be freed from his evil mother. But still, now that she’d found a solution for miss Swan and Snow’s return he would at least be living in a happy home, away from her.

 

Thinking about miss Swan caused the pain she felt to suddenly change into sheer terror. The woman who had been haunting her dreams at night and her thoughts by day for the last two months was returning. This meant that Regina had no other choice but to face her again, and to put it mildly, Regina was nowhere near prepared to deal with that. There were still times when the memories that assaulted her at night seemed so real that she felt she was back in that supply closet again, with the Savior’s finger inside her, blood streaming down pale thighs. Those nightmares usually ended with a noose around her neck, as Henry watched and gleefully smiled, clutching Emma’s hand, a hand that still dripped with Regina’s blood. She always woke up just before the noose was pulled.

 

The memories of that fateful evening didn’t just contain themselves to nightmares though. She vividly remembers clutching an orange in the middle of the grocery store when a memory had caught her unawares. Juice had been dripping down her wrist before Archie Hopper, of all people, had been able to shake her out of her thoughts. She remembers the nausea that followed that embarrassing encounter and how she’d stumbled away, apologizing and leaving behind her cart, not even recognizing her surroundings anymore.

 

Regina had mostly kept to herself after that incident, only stepping outside when necessary. She had almost been relieved, but still mostly ashamed and angry, when Charming himself had shown up on her doorstep one day, announcing that he would be doing her groceries for her from that moment on, seeing as some townspeople had complained that she was out and about.

 

She wondered if the blonde Savior was even aware of the damage she had caused, both physically and mentally. Because as much as she tried to block him out, it was not only miss Swan abusing and hurting her who played the main character in her nightmares. A certain King also liked to make a sickening appearance every now and then. Those dreams always left her the most shaken up and they almost always resulted in her heaving up her meager dinner and another sleepless night. Not that sleep was something she’d gotten a lot of since it happened.

 

The fact that the Savior saw it as some sort of terrible punishment, some twisted way to truly hurt the woman she figured was the Evil Queen, caused bile to rise in her throat once more. Had she known how much that punishment would tear open old wounds that could never heal? Her hands were shaking, clenching around the mug that Henry had gotten her for her birthday a couple of years ago, back before their relationship became… poisoned, as poisoned as that apple turnover, Regina supposes. Cold coffee was sloshing over her hand as Regina slammed the mug down on the countertop. Thinking over the memories that this cup represented, she was now aching to hold her son again and breathe in his scent. His scent, it was one of the things that she missed the most. Oh hell, she even missed the way he used to leave his clothes everywhere except the hamper. Or the way he used to whine and whine when she didn’t allow him sugary treats after eight to eliminate the threat of a sugar-high. He would always scoff when she told him it was only to make sure that he got a full night’s sleep.

 

How had those simple scoffs turned into full on ‘ _I hate you_ ’s’?

 

Regina stopped herself from going down that dangerous road for the twentieth time that day. Rational thought, as always, quickly followed. She knew, deep down in her mind, that letting him go with Charming had been the best thing for him. She was unable to take care of him with her fractured mind and her broken spirit. Her mother would probably call her weak for it and purse her lips in that way she always did when she was extremely disappointed in Regina. It wasn’t hard to know what her mother would say. _‘Of course you are unable to take care of him, you silly little girl. But be honest with yourself, you know you have_ never _been capable to do so.’_.

 

Oh, mother. Regina hated the woman with a passion hotter than fire and yet, she couldn’t help but love her. 

 

_‘I don’t want to be you…’_

God, that little phrase held more pain and damage than Henry could’ve possibly realized when he uttered it right to her face. And Regina hoped that he would never find out the magnitude of trauma that followed those words. She’d said it to her mother too, a woman so cold and heartless that she was able to continually abuse her only child and force her into a loveless marriage to a sixty-year-old King. This with conscious knowledge of the horrors that would be forced upon her over the course of said marriage.

 

And now her son had uttered those same words to her. It was a confirmation that she was well on her way to turning into the woman she feared most. But also, loved more than life itself. There is no way to describe the clenching panic that went along with that realization. It seemed to freeze her from the inside out while simultaneously snapping her in two. She felt suffocated, unable to expand her ribcage enough to let in precious air. Mother had been right. There was no getting away from her, even when Regina had believed her to be dead, Cora Mills had always been able to worm her way into her daughter’s mind, spawning well-placed doubts and self-hatred. Even when Henry had been a little boy, her mother’s voice had been there inside her mind, torturing her in ways that were all too familiar by reminding her how _bad_ she was, how silly and stupid, unable to do anything correctly. It was why she was so worried when Henry had been a baby, constantly crying and unable to tell her what was wrong.

 

The panic she was currently feeling only caused her already empty stomach to constrict. Bile was rapidly rising, it burned her esophagus and made her eyes water. Regina, having been in this situation more times than she could count this last week, was already stumbling over herself in her haste to get to the downstairs powder room. Her knees painfully connected with her tiled floor as she dropped herself down in front of her toilet.

 

Tears were scorching their way over her cheeks. Her knuckles went white with the force she used to grab her thigh, while holding her hair back with her other hand.

 

_‘I don’t want to be you…’_

That little sentence will surely follow her to the grave.

 

* * *

 

“Emma,” Snow sighed, already tired from the long walk, feet aching. She dropped down on a log, acknowledging the feeling of the slightly moist wood through the fabric her jeans with an uncomfortable wince. Emma turned around slowly, then followed her mother’s – god, her mother’s – example and sat down also.

 

“Please tell me what’s bothering you, Emma,” Snow had already noticed something was off. Her daughter – god, her daughter – seemed absent. And it was not because they fell through a portal and ended up in an ogre-infested forest.

 

Emma’s green eyes snapped up at the sound of her mother’s words. Was she that obvious? The thought caused burning hot shame to fill her stomach. She quickly dropped her gaze again, unable to look the other woman in the eye any longer. On some subconscious level she remembered what she had done to her son’s mother, but on the other hand she’d felt out of control on that fateful night, like there was someone else in her body, doing those horrible things to the Mayor.

 

Still, not one to openly admit emotions, Emma murmured a soft _‘What do you mean?’_ , keeping her gaze focused on the mossy forest ground.

 

“I can tell something is up, Emma. You’re not acting like yourself,” Snow’s voice was soft, filled with motherly concern and it made Emma want to throw up.

 

Her first instinct was to scream. She wanted to yell at the younger woman that tried to act as if she were her mother. Well, she was, but still. _‘And how would you know that, you’ve only known me for a few months?!’_ was the first thing that came to mind. But that would be cruel, so instead Emma just hummed in some form of acknowledgement. She suddenly remembered one of the nicer foster-parents she’d had.

 

_‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, Emma, don’t say anything at all.’_

It was a lesson that had stuck with her for some reason. One that she tried to live by, which admittedly didn’t always work.

 

Snow was patiently waiting, studying her daughter’s pale complexion. Emma really didn’t look good, her skin was sun kissed and dry, patches of red scattered across her face and arms. Snow didn’t know why, but she had a feeling that time moved differently here, her watch still worked, but it didn’t match up with the position of the sun, instead it seemed to move much faster. She wondered if this was a result from the Curse being cast, or if it had always been this way but Snow had just never noticed for she was cursed when she moved to the Land Without Magic.

 

Not that it mattered anymore, they were no step closer to figuring out a way to get back to Storybrooke. Ever since they escaped Cora Mills, they had been somewhat lost.

 

Snow shook the thoughts from her head, they could wait. Sensing that Emma would say no more unless prompted, Snow continued her questioning. “Just tell me, Emma. Please, it would be better if you get it off your chest,” she hoped this would work, she hated seeing Emma in pain.

 

It seemed to do the trick, for Emma suddenly looked up, tears in those beautiful green eyes and a slight quiver in her bottom lip.

 

“Oh, Sweetheart,” she said softly and pulled her daughter into a warm hug, choosing to ignore the slight flinch she felt when she touched Emma.

 

“I did something really, really horrible, mom,” Emma gasped for breath as she buried her face in the crook of her mother’s neck.

 

Snow couldn’t find any joy in being called ‘mom’ at the moment. Not when her daughter was obviously heartbroken. “What did you do, honey? You can tell me,” Snow murmured softly, kissing her daughter’s forehead whilst her fingers combed through blonde locks.

 

Emma took a deep breath, before everything just seemed to spill out. “It happened when I broke the Curse. Henry looked so small in his hospital bed and I was just _so mad_. I realized Regina was the one that hurt him, that she was – that she was the Evil Queen-“ it still felt ridiculous to say it. “I was so mad that I dragged her into a closet and I asked her if it was all true. And she confessed, she just confessed. I don’t remember exactly what happened, I just know that I saw red and tasted blood in the back of my throat. It felt like my body wasn’t mine anymore and I just wanted her to hurt,” her breath was coming fast now, fat tears streaming down her face and soaking her mother’s light scarf. “I – I just wanted her to hurt as much as I hurt and I couldn’t think anymore. Everything is blank after that, I just know that I-“ Emma fell silent, she knew that her mother would never look at her the same after she uttered the words, but it felt so good to share this horrible secret with someone, anyone.

 

Snow had been quiet during her daughter’s rant, a calming presence in the chaos of her admission.

 

“What did you do, sweetheart?” Snow’s voice was soft, pain reflected in her eyes.

 

“I raped Regina,” it was said silently, as if saying it louder would cause all the more guilt and self-hatred. “I’m so sorry, I hate myself for it,” her sobs took over her body, unable to stop herself from trembling, she buried herself further into her mother’s neck, sucking up as much of the undeserving comfort she could get.

 

Snow felt her world spinning. Rape? Her little girl had raped Regina… She couldn’t find the words, couldn’t say anything to justify, **_wouldn’t_** even search for words to justify. And so she said the only thing that sounded logical in her mind.

 

“I still love you, Emma. I always will no matter what.”

 

* * *

 

The nausea had been persistent and Regina immediately knew what was happening to her before there was even any confirmation. She had missed her period twice now, something that had only happened back when she’d fallen pregnant during her marriage to the King, but those pregnancies were easy to handle with a mere potion. There was no way around it now. No potions to rid herself of unwanted parasites.  

 

Abortion was a possibility, but for that to happen she’d need a doctor. And she was positive no doctor would want to help the Evil Queen get rid of her unborn child, even if they were to find out it had been conceived through rape. It would probably be seen as more blood on her hands.

 

Regina shook her head, slowly lowering her cup of tea onto the countertop. She couldn’t think about this, not right now. She wasn’t even sure yet ( _‘yes you are’_ ) and, even more importantly, she needed to focus on getting Emma and Snow back without letting her mother pass through also.

 

Thoughts of her mother caused her to wonder what the woman was doing right now. Would she be angry with Regina if she were to return? She had, after all, send a pirate to kill the woman. Or would Cora be proud of her for finally listening to her most important lesson? Love is weakness and Regina had pushed aside her love for her mother to find her way to greatness.

 

Though, knowing Cora Mills as well as she did, Regina didn’t have to wonder. She would probably face the full force of her mother’s wrath, either way.

 

Mother would never allow Regina to know she was proud of her.

* * *

 

When a week later, she still didn’t feel any better, Regina decided that she needed to know for sure. And so, Regina made her way to the store, keeping her head high in an act of indifference as though she couldn’t care less about the fact that they all hated her and would gladly have her head on a spike.

 

She was standing in front of the shelf filled with pregnancy tests, when a voice she knew all too well caused her to turn around with hurt and fear in her eyes.

 

“Mom?” Henry asked carefully, mistrust apparent in his dark eyes as he looked at the woman who had raised him the first ten years of his life. He almost didn’t recognize her. Her skin seemed sickly and pale in the bright, artificial light. There were dark circles under her eyes that she had obviously tried to hide with makeup, which made them all the more prominent. She didn’t look at all like the strong Mayor Henry remembered. That woman had seemed indestructible.

 

“Henry,” the name sounded like a choke, even to her own ears. Regina wanted to run to him, to grab him tightly and never let him go. Her little boy was here, and she wasn’t even allowed near him. Pain filled her to the brim and she quickly took a few steps backwards. Away from the shelf filled with tests and away from her son.

 

The charming Prince came barreling around the corner, shooting her a suspicious glare. “What are you doing here, Regina?” Henry was quickly pushed towards the candy aisle, away from his mother. It hurt Regina to see him go.

 

Regina shook her head slightly, breaking her eyesight away from the corner Henry had just rounded. She willed her emotions to go away as she reached for a small box of tampons. “Doing groceries,” she shrugged as if nothing was wrong, as if he was stupid to ask such a question when the answer was apparent. And truly, he was.

 

Charming wasn’t having it though. “I thought I would be the one to do your groceries, remember?” he said with narrowed eyes.

 

Regina scoffed for show. “Oh, I wasn’t aware you wanted to be the one to buy me tampons? What would our dear Snow White think of such things?” She snapped back, her voice laced in venom. She couldn’t help but twist the knife a little bit further, she was the Evil Queen after all.

 

It was enough to get the Prince off her back and the man grumbled something under his breath, turning around and rounding the same corner Henry had just disappeared behind. He was probably off to buy some sickly-sweet candy that Henry insisted upon. He could be very persistent after all and Charming was obviously a push-over.

 

Regina let out a nervous breath and grabbed a pregnancy test, quickly pushing it in the pocket of her coat as she made her way to the cash register, the little box of tampons still clutched in her hand. The last thing she wanted to do was to start Storybrooke’s rumor mill.

 

* * *

 

The little pink plus was mocking her, laughing at her, causing her so much pain that Regina couldn’t help but throw up at the sight. It wasn’t long before the plastic stick was shattered as it hit the white tiled wall of Regina’s bathroom with a force the brunette didn’t even know she possessed. The crunching sound was extremely satisfying as she crushed what was left of the stick under the heel of her boot.

 

Her spine curled painfully as she released a broken sob. Knees connected with the cold floor harshly, but Regina couldn’t care less about something as insignificant as bruises now that she found out for sure that she was pregnant because the Savior had _raped_ her.

 

It all needed to stop, she wanted it out. Now.

 

There was no way she could handle the deeper meaning behind this pregnancy. She couldn’t stand being connected to the blonde in such an intimate way. Pregnancy by magic wasn’t unheard of back in the Enchanted Forest, it was possible so long as the two parties involved both had magic. But Regina was also aware that for it to create a child, both parties also had to _love_ each other. And that was most certainly not the case.

 

So how come she was in this position right now?

 

* * *

 

“Emma!” Henry was crying tears of joy as he ran towards the woman he only met a year ago. He threw himself into the blonde’s arms like he used to do with Regina, and she had to turn her eyes away. _Would he have done that if he was aware of what Emma had done?_

Truth be told, Regina didn’t want to know, fearing the answer.

 

Keeping her gaze fixated on the forest ground as she listened to the happy reunion, she rested her left cheek against the sharp bark of the large oak tree she was leaning against. It was currently the only thing keeping her up. The Death Curse had taken a lot out of her and Regina was surprised she was still alive. Her breathing was heavy as she felt the last remnants of the Curse buzz through her body. Regina frowned, there was a slightly green tinge to her otherwise pale skin.

 

Her thoughts were interrupted.

 

“Regina?”

She flinched when she heard the blonde breathe her name softly, suddenly sounding way too close even though neither of them had moved. She looked up slowly, aware Emma had caught the way she had flinched at the sound of her voice. “Don’t,” Regina’s voice was even more raspy than usual, out of breath from absorbing that dangerous curse. “Just don’t, miss Swan.”

 

Henry looked confused as he paid close attention to both his mothers. There was an obvious tension there, speaking of hurt and fear. He didn’t know what had happened between his mothers when he’d been under the Sleeping Curse, but he didn’t like how his adopted mother had flinched when Emma had spoken, or how guilty Emma was currently looking.

 

“But, I’m really-“ Emma tried to continue, but was quickly cut off again.

 

“Please, just don’t miss Swan,” Regina blinked back traitorous tears. “Don’t say you’re sorry, it won’t change a thing.”

 

Emma sighed sadly and looked down at Henry, who was still clinging to her waist, confusion clear in his expression. She leaned down and softly asked him to go over to Mary Margaret for a moment. Henry didn’t question it, in fact, he was happy to get away from the uncomfortable tension.

 

Snow was happy to curl an arm around the boy and led him away from the conversation. Her eyes were sympathetic, but she still felt no need to justify Emma’s behavior. They both knew that what her daughter had done was wrong in so many ways. No matter that Regina was the Evil Queen and that her son had been under a Sleeping Curse. No one deserved to be raped.

 

Emma was watching his mother’s son with a mixture of pain and guilt. She noticed the way Regina was still heavily resting against the large tree and she wondered what kind of curse it had been that Regina had absorbed for them. She took a deep breath, trying to fill herself with courage. “Regina, please just hear me out,” she put up her hands in a show of good intent and took a careful step forwards.

 

Regina flinched back, almost losing her footing once her grip slipped away from her trusty tree. She didn’t want the blonde any closer to her so she put her hand up, her other once again clutching at the tree. There were green sparks coming from her hand, but neither women paid attention to them. “Don’t-“ she breathed out softly. Regina closed her eyes for a second, bracing herself. “I’m pregnant.”

 

She knew she needed to tell the woman eventually and there is no time like the present, Regina supposes.

 

“I – what?” Emma’s pale skin turned even paler. A sickly pale. The blonde prayed she heard wrong, that her mind was playing tricks on her. But from the devastating look on Regina’s beautiful face, Emma knew she’d heard correctly. “And it’s-“

 

Regina felt the need to throw up. “if you’re really asking me if it’s yours then yes, it is. But please remember that this whole mess is your fault. _You_ did this to me, you raped me,” Regina was seething now, feeling immense anger at the vulnerability she was currently feeling. She pushed herself up to her full height, ignoring the dizzy spell as she stared into Emma’s pained eyes. “This is not _your_ child and I will make sure that you’ll never get anywhere near him or her,” it surprised her how protective she is suddenly feeling over a child she isn’t even sure she wants.

 

Emma was still staring her like a lost puppy. “How?” There was no way this is happening. All this is impossible. _‘Just as impossible as living in a town filled with fairytale characters, Emma? Just as impossible as having Snow White and Prince Charming as parents? Impossible like that?’_ her mind was mocking her.

 

“Magic,” Regina said, as if it was a logical explanation. And to be honest, it was the only one Regina could handle at this moment. With that she turned around and stumbled back to her car with her head held as high as humanly possible.

 

She felt like bursting out in tears when she noticed the sympathetic glance that Snow shot her way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, please don't get used to these daily updates. 
> 
> Disclaimer: none of these characters belong to me. This story is non-profitable and is meant for entertainment purpose only. 
> 
> Trigger warning: aftermath of rape!

Regina was clutching the sheets with trembling fists, her breathing coming in fast, nearing hyperventilation. She didn’t like to admit it, but she was terrified, absolutely shaken up from her latest nightmare. She could still smell the odors of wine and old cheese, further worsening her almost constant nausea. There was no way she would be able to sleep again tonight. Her breathing started to slow down and Regina slowly rolled onto her back, the sheets were sticking uncomfortably to her bare legs. For the first time Regina realized that it was hot, _very hot_ in her bedroom. She stood on shaky legs and slowly moved to her window. The soft august breeze felt deliciously refreshing on her hot skin and Regina sighed softly. She left the window open and padded her way back to bed.

 

She hadn’t sought out any contact this week, not with anyone. There was no desire to even get out of the house, not even to see Henry. But maybe that was due to the fact that it would just hurt too much to see how happy he was with the Charmings. It would only bring back memories about how _miserable_ he was when he’d lived with her in her mansion. Regina let her eyes glide over the pictures that stood on her bedside table. Henry had been an adorable baby, round cheeks and big eyes. God, how she missed those times when it was just them together. Her little boy had loved her so much back then.

 

Regina quickly pulled her gaze away from the photographs. They would only serve to make her cry, especially with her emotions all over the place. God, she hated this, hated being pregnant, hated being here right now, alone in her bedroom in the middle of the night, missing her son. This was not the way her life was supposed to turn out, not the way she’d imagined it when she’d allowed herself to think about her future whilst wrapped in the arms of her stable boy, her Daniel, the boy she was meant to marry. It was moments like this that she missed him so much, she felt her breath being stolen from her. Her beautiful Daniel, always the optimist but oh so naive when it came to her mother. She could vividly remember his look of cold shock when her mother plunged her hand into his chest and ripped his precious heart out. He hadn’t even had the time to comprehend what was happening to him before his whole life had turned into a handful of dust, getting taken away by a gentle breeze much like the one Regina had been enjoying mere moments ago.

 

Her life had been set in stone from that moment onwards. Before she knew it, Regine had been forced to marry the old King, playing nursemaid to his insipid daughter by day whilst being the King’s personal whore by night.

 

Regina sighed, brushing away the tears she hadn’t even realized were falling. How come her life had become such a tragedy? Who had she pissed off?

 

Her mind wandered off towards thoughts of Henry again. Would Henry still be willing to stay with the Charmings if he knew what had happened? She had been asking herself that question for days now. But she knew there was no way Emma, or Snow for that matter (because Regina was sure the woman knew something), would tell Henry the real reason why his biological mother, his _real_ mother was so sad and his adoptive mother was cooped up in her home, looking like death. But truth be told, Regina was glad their _heroic nature_ , god that was nauseating, wouldn’t keep them from telling lies. She absolutely did _not_ want him to know. Better Henry living in a lie then him knowing the horrors that had transpired that fateful day the Curse was broken. Which he probably thought of as the best day of his short life. The day they finally conquered the Evil Queen herself, breaking her Curse and therefor defeating her once and for all. Little did Henry understand that she had felt defeated, _been_ defeated since the day she had taken her first breath. Mother had made sure of that.  

 

Her hand slowly came to rest on her stomach, the skin still smooth and flat. Though not for very much longer, Regina guessed. It would soon be growing with a little half-Charming. When mother comes through to this world, and mother will come through, Regina was sure of it, she would probably be so disappointed. Her lips would curl up in that dangerous sneer of hers and it wasn’t hard to imagine what she would say.

 

_‘How could you allow that simple peasant to lay a hand on you, let alone rape you, you pathetic child?!’_

 

Regina’s breath hitched, pushing all thought of her mother from her fragile mind. Instead she focused her gaze on the ceiling, hot tears sliding down the sides of her face, disappearing into her hairline. _‘Calm down, Regina.’_

 

The sun was nearly up when Regina finally cried herself to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

It was 7:55 AM when Regina slowly made her way to her car. She was tired from her sleepless night and slightly nauseous. Her head was pounding from the lack of caffeine, but she would manage, she had to. She’d survived the first thirty-three years of her life without a drop of coffee, she could figure out a way around it for the next seven months.

 

Desperate times call for desperate measures and Regina had no other choice but to make her way to the store at this ungodly hour, there was no way she would risk being seen by anyone. The grocery store would open at 8 AM and it was a five-minute drive, her timing was perfect.

 

At 8:15 AM Regina allowed herself a relieved smile, she was the only one in the store this early. Perfect. Rounding the corner to the aisle containing the cleaning products, she quickly grabbed what she needed and put it in her basket. Apparently, after all the excitement following his wife’s return and waking up from his Sleeping Curse, Charming had decided to absolve himself of his promise and she was once again allowed to do her own groceries.

 

“Regina?”

 

Regina inwardly groaned, instinctively pulling her light trenchcoat closed around her midsection, not that there was anything to be seen, but still. She turned around slowly, a mildly annoyed look painted on her features. “Snow White,” she drawls out, the name sounding like a curse coming from her berry-red lips.

 

From just looking at the former Queen, no one would ever know that tragedy had befallen the woman not yet three months ago. But Snow was not particularly surprised about that fact. Regina had always been a strong woman, always wearing that mask of indifference, even during their time together as mother and daughter. Snow could clearly remember the last time that she’d seen an honest smile on Regina’s face. It had been when they’d first met and Regina had taught her about True Love in all its wonder. “I’m glad to see you out of the house,” and Snow _was_ glad. She had worried about her former step-mother. She’d absorbed a Death Curse and had then gone off the grit for a week.

 

Regina wanted to punch the knowing look right off Snow’s face. But she’d promised Henry she would try to be a better mother, even when he didn’t want her to be _his_ mother any longer, so a non-committal _‘mhmm’_ is all she’s able to muster. She reached for a loaf of bread and placed that in her basket also. She had no desire to talk to the Princess, she had no desire to talk to anyone. She just wanted to get her groceries, go home and spent the rest of her morning lying on her bed with the drapes closed. Was that too much to ask?

 

Snow however, was oblivious as to Regina’s unwillingness to join her in their one-sided conversation. “It’s nice to finally eat something other than Chimera meat after two months,” Snow was smiling softly, sympathy bordering on pity apparent in her eyes and Regina couldn’t stand it. “I really missed Granny’s take out.”

 

_‘Please stop talking about food_ ’ Regina was silently praying, her hand curling into a tight fist. God, was the woman serious? She had to get away. Regina didn’t answer, instead side-stepped the younger woman and made her way to the frozen food aisle, wanting to get some ice-cream, but then quickly realizing that Henry was the only one in their house to eat the sugary treat. And he was no longer living with her.

 

“Regina, wait,” the sudden hand on her shoulder had the brunette flinching as if she was being burned. The younger woman quickly pulled her hand away, stuffing it into the pocket of her light green coat. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” the guilt on her face was palpable, Regina could almost taste it.

 

Her little admission only served to confirm Regina’s suspicions that Snow was aware of everything that had happened between the Savoir and herself. It caused goosebumps to raise on her skin and blood to pound in her ears. White, hot shame filled her body, drowning her in the need to run away, away from Snow and away from every other person that lived in this goddamned town. She didn’t want Snow to know, she didn’t want _anyone_ to know.

 

“Stop talking, Snow, now,” Regina bared her teeth, spitting the words at her former step-daughter. “Stop this ruse and just stay the hell away from me.”

 

Snow was looking at her with wide eyes. “I – I don’t think I can do that, Regina,” the Princess sighed softly, trying to catch the older woman’s eyes, but it was no use, Regina didn’t want to look at her. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you, if you want to talk, or even if you just need someone to scream at,” she furrowed her brow. “What Emma has done, I can’t make any excuses for her and I won’t even try. But please just know that you are not alone.”

 

Regina swallowed the lump in her throat. Part of her wanted to accept the help, to just give into the first person who showed her some understanding, even if it was Snow White of all people. But that spark of distrust that had always been there ever since the young Princess had betrayed her trust so many years ago, ignited into anger even now.

 

“I’m always alone, Snow White. Don’t even bother trying to change that.”

 

* * *

 

 

Emma was nervously biting her nails, a habit she had picked up since returning from the Enchanted Forest. She was sitting on her chair, and when had she begun to think of anything in this apartment as hers, in the corner of the kitchen. There was a bowl of cereal in front of her, the sweet, multi-colored loops drowned in more than enough milk. But she liked it that way and Henry had known that when he’d offered to grab her some late breakfast also.

 

Henry…

 

He was sitting on the other side of the small table, munching on his cereal whilst reading the newest edition of _‘The Avengers’_ , Emma didn’t know where he’d gotten that, but she wouldn’t be surprised if it had come from the boy’s adoptive mother. God, she couldn’t even look at him, the boy Regina had raised, without feeling an immense sense of guilt washing over her. And so she tried to ignore eye contact as much as possible, but at the same time she couldn’t help but stare at him when he was engrossed in his comic book. He looked so young right now, so sure of himself and his sense of right and wrong. He was stubborn about his views that Regina was bad and she was good, and all the while confused with his own feelings of love towards his adoptive mother.

 

His whole world would be turned upside down if he knew what she had done to the brunette.

 

But Emma was a realist, and so she knew that he would eventually find out. There was no way around it, not now that he was going to be a big brother. The thought nauseated her, Regina was pregnant. _She_ had done this to the former Mayor, with magic... It was so wrong that Emma still couldn’t fully comprehend it. More than that, she couldn’t even believe this wasn’t just some horrible bad dream and that tomorrow she would wake up in Mary Margaret’s spare bedroom again. Not knowing about all this fairytale bullshit and instead the most incomprehensible thing being that she now apparently had a ten-year-old son. She wanted to go back to that strange tension she had with Regina, that fiery, bordering on sexual tension, instead of this hate she had now felt radiating off the brunette.

 

But as she said, she was a realist. There was no way Regina would ever look at her like that again. Emma understood that those hateful stares would never reverse themselves back into those sinfully gorgeous fake-smiles Regina had always put on.

 

“Emma?”

 

Fuck, she had been caught staring into the distance.

 

Henry put his comic book down with confusion clear on his face. “Emma what’s wrong? You’ve been staring at that wall for the past five minutes as if it’d going to hurt you,” his eyes were large, eyebrows high in a questioning expression. He wasn’t stupid, even though everyone around him seemed to think so. He’d noticed that they were lying to him when he’d asked about his adoptive mother, but he just didn’t want to question it further. He tried to keep his distance, but not seeing her this whole past week had been difficult for him. He didn’t understand it completely, she was the Evil Queen, how could he miss her? But it was hard for him to think of his mom as the Evil Queen when all his mind was showing him when thinking of the woman were images of her kissing his scraped knee better, or her making him his special chocolate chip pancakes on his birthdays.

 

And so he’d let it slide, not wanting to think about his mom all alone in their house any longer.

 

Emma in the meantime had shifted her gaze back on her cereal. “It’s nothing, kid,” she mumbled softly, trying to shoot him a comforting smile but it came out more like a grimace. She could feel it tightening the skin around her mouth and she was sure she looked ridiculous. Joker-like ridiculous. It was obvious that Henry was not reassured in any way. Well, she tried.

 

They were saved from any further awkward conversation by Snow White herself walking into the loft, arms filled with groceries, kicking the door closed with her foot. Henry was up in a flash, helping his grandmother (who was younger than his birth mother) with the heavy paper bags. Emma felt a flash of pride at his manners, before she realized Regina was the one that raised him to be a little gentleman, not she.

 

Prince Charming chose that exact moment to step out of the bathroom, hair still wet from his shower, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt.

 

_Well, the family is complete._ Her thoughts were mocking her.

 

She released her spoon letting it drop back into the bowl, before coming up to help her mother clear the groceries away. Henry was already distracted by his comic book again as he grabbed it from the table and let himself drop down carelessly onto the couch. Emma sighed, pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Snow was smiling at her in that pitiful way that Emma couldn’t bear to have directed at her person.

 

“Do you think you can handle this, Emma?” she smiled softly, her hand waving towards the bags containing the groceries. “I just have to talk to your father for a moment.”

 

“Ah,” Emma’s eyes went wide with confusion. “Sure, no problem,” she tried to sound casual, but she was failing at it miserably.

 

Charming smiled reassuringly. Snow had told him about what had happened as to why Emma was feeling so down at the moment and though he definitely held no sympathy in his heart for the Evil Queen, he couldn’t help but feel for the woman who had acted as his friend during the short amount of time he’d been awake during the Curse. He’d seen the effects from these types of trauma with his own eyes more times than he could count. Living as a peasant in a small town under King George’s rule had certainly not been peaceful. They’d been the targets of bandits more than once and everyone knew what happened to the women during those violent raids.

 

David inwardly shuddered, he still couldn’t believe his little girl had been capable of something like that. And he meant he _really_ couldn’t believe it. He’d listened carefully to Snow when she’d shared the story. About how Emma couldn’t precisely remember anything after the moment that Regina had confessed to the Curse being true. And he thought that was slightly strange.

 

His thoughts were halted when Snow softly grabbed him by his bicep, leading him away to create some form of privacy.

 

Emma was awkwardly trying to focus on putting away the groceries, trying not to listen to the conversation between her parents. Anxiety flipped in her stomach when she accidentally picked up some bits and pieces. ‘Regina’ and ‘not doing well’ were the two things she could clearly make out. Emma had tried to avoid any form of conversation about the woman this past week, but she knew she couldn’t continue that tactic forever.

 

Snow and Charming were quick to return, shooting a glance towards Henry, who was still reading in his comic, looking like he hadn’t heard a thing. But Emma knew how sneaky he could be when he wanted to and it was obvious he’d caught the same things Emma had.

 

Her mother suddenly smiled brightly and if it was anyone other than Snow White herself, Emma would have thought it to look incredibly fake. “So Henry,” she sat down next to the boy, catching his attention. “I was thinking that maybe it would be a nice idea to pay your mother a visit?” she threw Emma a cautious look, clearly telling her that she was talking about just Henry and herself. Which was more than fine with Emma. She had no desire to see the woman she had forcefully impregnated with magic.

 

“Why?” he sounded uninterested, but every person in the room saw how much he missed his mother. It was apparent on his face, even if he didn’t want it to be.

 

Snow didn’t falter a bit. “Well, I thought it would be nice, you haven’t seen her all week Henry. I’m sure your mother misses you.”

 

“Uhm, sure. I guess,” he was unsure as to what was going on here. Since when was Snow White so eager to go and visit the Evil Queen? “Can Emma come too?

 

There was a pregnant pause as all three adults were suddenly unsure as to how they could work their way out of answering Henry’s question.

 

It was Emma who finally spoke up. “I can’t kid, I’m sorry. I have… stuff to do at the station.”

 

It was a little white lie to protect him, she shouldn’t feel this bad.

 

Henry frowned at the lie, but nodded slowly. It was clear that he wasn’t so easily fooled. “Alright,” he turned to his grandmother who was still nervously twisting her fingers in her lap. “When are we going?”

 

Snow put on that blinding smile again. “How about this afternoon?”

 

* * *

 

 

It was three in the afternoon and the August sun was still shining brightly overhead. It did nothing to change the cool air of desperation that seemed to surround her. Regina felt tired, so fucking tired.

 

She was sitting in her foyer, coat still on her shoulders, heels still on. She couldn’t even get herself to take them off. Her sight was blurry, her head was pounding. How long had she been sitting here? Time had been lost on her, she remembered all but fleeing home after her unwanted encounter with Snow at the grocery store this morning. It had taken too much out of her, images had been attacking her mind when she’d finally dropped her purse on the floor and allowed her body to drop down onto her pristine white couch, at the exact same spot she was still occupying. That had been hours ago…

 

Her stomach made an obscenely loud noise, signaling its displeasure at being ignored all day. Regina had to work on taking care of herself better if she wanted her child to become healthy.

 

How she could care at all was still beyond her, but she couldn’t help but think about this baby as _her_ child and hers alone. It was strange, it wasn’t even a child yet. Regina shook her head, not wanting to dwell on it any longer. It was no use anyway.

 

There was a sudden knock on her front door and Regina could feel her heart skip a beat at the noise. She scolded herself for being so jumpy and quickly pushed her body up off the couch. Her legs were shaking on her heels as she slowly made her way to the front door, wondering who had been insane enough to disturb the Evil Queen’s peace.

 

_Peace…_ Regina scoffed.   _If only._

 

* * *

 

 

“Regina, Regina please open up!” Snow was frantically knocking on the door. She was starting to get worried, she had been standing here for five minutes already. Turning around to quickly shoot a reassuring smile Henry’s way, she resumed with vigor. “Regina open up!”

 

There was a hollow echo of heels on hardwood, announcing Regina’s arrival. “Go away, Snow!” Regina didn’t even bother to open the door, her voice was still hoarse from her earlier crying and Regina didn’t have to wonder how horrible she looked right now.

 

“Henry is with me, he wanted to see you, Regina,” she knew she was using Henry, but she also knew there was no other way to otherwise get to Regina. And the former Queen shouldn’t be alone right now.

 

There was a silence that felt to go on for hours, before the door was slowly opened, revealing Regina, dressed to the nines but eyes red from crying. Those eyes immediately locked on her son’s form, who was standing slightly behind Snow, a small smile curling his lips. “You really wanted to see me?” she sounded so hopeful and young that Snow’s heart broke just a bit.

 

“Yeah mom, really. I haven’t seen you all week,” it was clear to Henry that his mother needed him right now, though he didn’t exactly understand what had happened to her. But still, he didn’t want her hurt even though he now realized he had been the main cause of her pain over the last year.

 

Without thinking about it any longer, she opened the door further. Her arms were shaking and she remained rooted to her doorstep even though all she wanted to do was pull her little boy into her arms. “Henry,” the name was said in a breathy whisper and tears formed in her dark eyes. “I missed you so much, my little Prince.”

 

His smile grew until it was bordering on goofy. He didn’t understand, but he felt the urge to run into her embrace. And that was exactly what he did, almost pushing his grandmother out of way in his haste to get to his mother who didn’t look a thing like the woman he remembered. She was pale and looked close to being sick and it worried him for reasons Henry didn’t understand.

 

Though maybe he did, but in his black and white sense of right and wrong he simply just didn’t want to.

 

Right now though, he didn’t care. She was just simply his mother. Nothing more, nothing less.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go again! Some nice Regal Believer and Regina/Snow in this chapter. 
> 
> Disclaimer: none of these characters belong to me . This story is non-profitable and is meant for entertainment purpose only. 
> 
> Trigger warning: aftermath of rape!

Henry was watching her silently, his eyes inquisitive in a way only a child could manage. Her little boy was home and she could hardly believe it was really him sitting there, looking comfortable and uncomfortable all at the same time. Her baby boy whom she had missed so much was just simply sitting there, watching her with a worry she hated, despised with every fiber of her being. God, she was so relieved to finally lay her eyes on him again, so relieved he had actually allowed her to hug him and kiss his cheek the way she had done a hundred times before the Curse had been broken, before he’d known her to be the Evil Queen, rotten to the core. Regina couldn’t even be upset that Snow was here, in her dining room, watching her like a hawk.

 

Nothing mattered anymore in this moment, for her little boy had returned home.

 

_But how long would that last?_ And Regina quickly shut those traitorous thoughts out, she didn’t want them to torture her any longer. Not right now, not when she wanted to allow herself to feel that warm and fuzzy feeling inside of her that she felt came awfully close to happiness.

 

Her mother would laugh at her.

 

Regina could feel the tense muscles in her back, could feel them sizzling with the strain she put on them. She was sitting rigid, her back as straight as a plank for her mother had drilled it into her that it would hide the curve of her waist. Mother had always said she had inherited her father’s genes for weight gain. Looking back, Regina wanted to cringe. She had always been skinny, maybe even bordering on too skinny, but right now Regina felt like she needed it. Surely she must because she had been sucking in her belly for about twenty minutes now. It was so unnecessary, there was nothing to see yet. The curve she had imagined there was hardly noticeable to the outside world. No one knew, no one saw. It was impossible.

 

_Fucking stupid._

But as always, there was that small twinge of doubt, telling her _are you sure, Regina? I did notice a little bit of a belly when I glanced in the mirror this morning, Regina. The Charming spawn can’t be hidden anymore, Regina._ And so, she stayed seated in that uncomfortable pose, back straight, belly tucked in, chin high. Every bit as regal as her former title suggested.

 

She swiped her eyes across the scene in front of her. Henry was still watching her with a fascination Regina thought was irksome. She wasn’t some exhibit in a museum to be stared at. Snow wasn’t faring much better. Her dark eyes, which had always reminded Regina of the King's, were studying her in the most intrusive of ways. When Regina accidentally made eye contact, immediately cursing the fact, Snow shot her that polite smile and turned her eyes down towards the steaming mug of coffee in front of her. Politeness more than anything else had made Regina suggest some coffee to the Princess.

 

_One cannot have a guest go thirsty, Regina_ mother was echoing in her mind. And so it came to be that Snow was now nursing a cup of coffee and Henry was all too happy sipping his chocolate milk from his favorite mug. Regina herself had opted for a small cup of tea. Apparently, she had also made the unconscious decision to take care of herself better for the sake of the child – the baby – the Charming spawn.

 

_You know what you mean._

 

Whilst Regina was busy with her thoughts, staring into the steaming liquid. Snow had opted to go back to her intrusive observing. She wasn’t being too obvious, she assured herself. If Snow was being honest with herself, and she always was, Regina was not looking very well. She was looking rather terrible, actually. Not that she wasn’t as stunning as always, for Regina Mills could hardly be anything _but_ that. It was more like it was apparent that the last couple of months had been hard on her. There were dark circles under her eyes, clearly visible on too pale skin. The former Queen looked exhausted and about to fall asleep on them both. The wardrobe change did also not go unnoticed by Snow. Regina was wearing the usual dress pants and high heels, but instead of some form-fitting shirt, she was now donning a loose blouse that almost swallowed her up entirely, hiding away the curves the woman had always been proud to display. It was obvious what Regina was trying to do and it broke Snow’s heart.

 

Henry had, during all her staring, actually started talking to his brunette mother, hands animatedly gesturing and Snow watched Regina was trying, and failing, to pay attention to whatever it was the boy was saying.

 

Regina was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable. She had half a mind to start snapping at the girl to just stop staring at her. Snow obviously thought she was being low-key, which she was clearly not. And had never been, now that Regina thought about it. It distracted her, and Henry noticed.

 

“Mom?”

 

Regina took a second to shake her head clear of the thoughts about Snow and… everything. She put on the smile she especially reserved for Henry and turned towards him, teeth sparkling and eyes kind. “Yes Henry?” She tried to put on her brave face, trying to reassure him that everything was alright, besides what his biological mother had done to his adoptive mother which in turn caused his adoptive mother to get pregnant though some very fucked up sort of magic. But Henry did not need to know that now, or ever if it was up to Regina. For how much she hated Emma Swan right now, knowing what his biological mother had done would most certainly traumatize Henry.

 

Henry was obviously not buying his mother’s act. His brow furrowed in that adorable way that made Regina’s heart ache. “Are you listening to me, mom?” He asked, a tinge of suspicion worming its way into his voice. He hated being lied to.

 

Her smile only got bigger and it made for an eerie sight combined with the dark circles around her eyes. “I’m sorry, Henry. I didn’t quite catch what you said,” her voice was warm, low, deep in a way that was meant to comfort and did exactly that, even to Snow’s ears and she wasn’t even the child here. “I got a little distracted, honey,” Regina continued. “But please continue.”

 

“Oh,” he decided to let it go for now, whatever it was, his mother was certainly not going to tell with his grandmother sitting on the opposite side of the dining table. “I was just wondering if I could maybe get a cookie.” The boy smiled brightly, his eyes twinkling at the prospect of the sugary treat. There was absolutely no way Regina could resist his childish delight. And so, she nodded.

 

“Of course, dear,” she would do anything to keep him close to her, even if it meant letting him have a cookie late in the afternoon, just before dinner. Well, it was not as if _she_ would be putting in the work to make his dinner. The thought appeared before she could stop it, it just popped up in her head.

 

“Thanks, mom,” his smile was priceless, filling her heart with a warmth only her child could create. He jumped up from his chair, heading towards the kitchen and it felt so blessedly normal that Regina could cry. Which she immediately blamed on the hormones that were currently making her life that much more difficult. Henry knew exactly where she hid the cookie jar, probably because Regina had caught him more times than she could count, trying to sneak a cookie before dinner. She allowed herself to become lost in her thoughts for only a second and it brought a watery smile to her face. She listened to the all too familiar sound of the glass jar scraping over her granite countertop, which was already scratched mind you.

 

A memory came up and she couldn’t help but let that smile grow into a fond grin. _‘Henry, you have hands for a reason, namely to lift things so please stop dragging it! You’ll scratch the granite!’ She had said it a million times before and yet the boy continued to scrape it over the stone. ‘But mom! You put it way too far for me to lift!’ He would always reply._

 

“Henry, you’re ruining my kitchen.” Regina couldn’t help it, she missed their playful banter. It was worth the confused look Snow shot her, for his reply nearly brought tears to her eyes in recognition.

 

Henry just shrugged as he came waltzing back into the dining room with a big grin on his face, holding two oatmeal cookies in his hand, and when had Regina allowed for _two_ cookies? “It’s already scratched so what’s a few more? I can’t help it you always put the jar too far,” he sat down on his chair again, grin still intact.

 

Regina chuckled softly, moving closer to drop a quick kiss on the side of his face but she retracted when she remembered everything that had transpired. Would Henry still want her this close? Would he still be able to accept her love when she had done all those horrible things? To his _mother_ , to his _grandparents_. Hell, she couldn’t even forgive herself, how could she expect Henry to?

 

But Henry surprised her in the most wonderful of ways, leaning in instead and placing a kiss on her cheek before sitting back and continuing to munch on his cookie like he hadn’t just made his mother the happiest woman on the planet for just a second or two.

 

Her heart fluttered and she completely forgot about Snow for a minute as she smiled at her little boy. “I love you, my little Prince,” her words were said softly, privately. She wanted to pull him into a hug and never let him go again. She wanted to keep him close to her and protect him from all the dangers out in the world. _Which was ironic_ , that little voice in her mind told her again, _for she was the danger he had to be protected from_.

 

“I love you too, mom,” he muttered with a mouthful of cookie and Regina wanted to tell him to swallow before he spoke, but the moment she caught a whiff of the oatmeal, her stomach turned and her face grew even paler than it had already been. With her left hand she clutched at her stomach, crumpling the loose fabric of her blouse in a tight fist. She all but jumped up, tipping over her chair in the process. The wood connected loudly with her floor, drawing startled glances from both Snow and Henry, eyes growing wide at the unexpected sound. Regina ignored the confused and worried expressions shot her way and instead practically ran towards her downstairs bathroom, stumbling over herself in her haste to keep herself from vomiting all over her expensive floor. At least she had the sense to pull the door closed behind herself before she fell to her knees in front of the toilet and heaved up the meager meal she had eaten a couple of hours ago.

 

Henry was right behind her, having quickly snapped out of his confusion which had almost immediately morphed into concern. He wanted to follow his mother, but Snow was just as quick to pull him back. She knew there was no way in hell that Regina wanted Henry to see her like this. “Henry,” she said sternly, more so than she meant but there was no time to dwell on that, holding onto the boy’s arm. “She doesn’t want you to see her like this, sweetheart,” Snow’s voice turned soft, she knew he only wanted to help his mother. She looked worried and teary-eyed. Just like Henry.

 

Henry in turn frowned at his grandmother, trying to pull his arm away from her tight grip. “But my mom, she’s sick,” he sounded so young and upset, willing the woman to understand why he had to go after his mother.

 

But Snow wouldn’t budge.

 

“Let me just check up on her, okay?” she asked softly with a comforting smile, well, as comforting as she could muster right this moment. “Just go and watch some TV in the living room, I promise your mom will be just fine, it’s probably just a mild stomach bug, it’s been going around,” she hated lying to him, but she knew she had no other option. There was no way she would burden the boy with the truth.

 

He furrowed his brow, telling her he wasn’t buying it for one second. “Are you sure, grandma?”

 

Snow nodded. “Yes, I’m sure Henry. Just stay in the living room for a bit, I will check up on your mom.”

 

The boy sighed, but obeyed. Casting one last worried glance towards the general direction his mother had just disappeared in and nodded.

 

* * *

 

 

Snow didn’t like to think so, but she was a little scared, mentally preparing to open the door and step into that bathroom. It had been ten minutes already and still no sight of the former Queen. At first Snow decided that it would be better to just wait for the woman to get out, instead of barging in herself. But this was taking very long and it had been eerily quiet for a little while now. So why wasn’t Regina coming out?

 

Deciding to take her chances, she knocked on the door, fully expecting Regina to go all Evil Queen on her ass. “Regina? Regina, are you all right?” it remained quiet. “Regina, I’ve been waiting for a while now, but I’m worried so I’m going to come in now, okay?” Snow didn’t wait for an answer this time, instead slowly pushing the door open.

 

It was shocking to say the least, Snow thought as she watched the proud woman looking oh so vulnerable. Hair wild and curled at the damp hairline, blouse crumpled and heels kicked off and into a corner in an effort to make herself more comfortable while she was heaving up her intestines. It seemed the onslaught had stopped for the moment for Regina was curled up, resting her back against the wall.

 

“Get out of here, Snow,” it was clear it hurt Regina to speak. Her voice sounded hoarse and raw, eyes red and teary and there were dried tear-tracks on her pale cheeks. “I’m fi-“

 

Regina’s attempt to placate Snow’s worries was brutally cut off by another wave of sickness. It hurt Snow’s heart to see the proud woman scrambling on the tiles in her haste to get to the toilet. The Princess wasn’t sure what came over her and she was certain that if Regina wasn’t currently preoccupied she would’ve gotten a fireball in the face, but Snow quickly made her way over to the older woman and softly pulled her dark hair out of the way.

 

Ignoring those terrible sounds which seemed to go on for hours, Snow instead focused on that dark hair she was currently holding back, hair that she used to admire. Snow remembered that she had loved her stepmother’s hair back then and always asked to braid it and brush it for the Queen. But it wasn’t those beautiful curls that she loved the most, no, it was the dark, almost black color. A color that reminded her so much of her own. In Snow’s young mind it bound them together as a family, for in her young mind, family always resembled each other.  

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

 

It was Regina’s low voice that startled her out of her memories and Snow quickly pulled her hands away as if she had been burned. Which was still a very real possibility.

 

“I’m sorry, Regina, I didn’t mean to overstep,” Snow got up on her feet, offering Regina her hand, but Regina just stared at it as if it was a sword pointing at her instead. She ignored the offered help and pushed herself up slowly.

 

Snow was watching her like a hawk, noticing the way Regina’s blouse got pulled tightly over her stomach and everything seemed to freeze for a moment. It wasn’t hard to see that the former Queen was fuller in certain places and did she spot the tiniest curve to the woman’s usually flat stomach? Her mind was racing, jumping from possibility to possibility. But it couldn’t be, could it?

 

“Regina,” she said softly to catch the woman’s attention. “What I’m going to ask you is probably not true and is going to sound very stupid but I still have to ask,” Regina just stared at her, eyebrows furrowed and a hand on her stomach. “Regina, are you pregnant?”

 

Snow knew it was true the moment she stopped speaking. There was no denying it now, not by the way she noticed Regina’s eyes watering, or the way her hand grasped at her stomach. There was a look of desperation on the former Queen’s face and something just clicked in Snow’s mind.

 

“Emma?” her voice was close to a whisper as she watched the older woman break down.

 

Regina took a shuddering breath, she didn’t know it would hit her so hard to hear the Savior’s name in this vulnerable moment, but it did and she could feel herself starting to hyperventilate. “Yes,” Regina hardly managed to get the word out, but it felt, dare she say it, _good_ to finally tell someone the secret she had been living with for the last three months. To just let it all out, even if it was to Snow she was confiding in.

 

It was no use asking how, for Snow already knew. “Magic,” she had heard of it before and it had not been uncommon back in the Enchanted Forest. Rare? Yes, but uncommon? Most certainly not.

 

“Well you did give birth to a daughter, did you not Snow?” Regina was feeling more and more vulnerable by the second and she did not like it one bit.

 

“But,” Snow furrowed her brows in confusion. As she said, magical pregnancies had not been unheard of back in the Enchanted Forest, but it could not happen randomly either. Her tutor had told her stories pertaining the phenomenon, but in each case, there had always been a common factor. There had to be an element of True Love involved. Which meant…

 

“Magical pregnancies are only possible through True Love.”

 

A dry, painful sounding chuckle left Regina’s lips. She looked up slowly, knowing what the other woman was thinking right now. “Isn’t it deliciously ironic, dear?” there was self-loathing obvious in her voice. “The Evil Queen gets a second chance at True Love,” she clenched her jaw and curled both her hands into tight fists. “Only to get _raped_ by that True Love, that second chance.”

 

Snow was saved from responding by a bang resounding from the other side of the bathroom door. Almost as if something or someone fell against it. Both women flinched at the noise and Regina could immediately feel panic filling up her throat. It wasn’t hard to imagine what the noise was for her son had always been a curious boy.

Snow quickly moved towards the noise, opening the door and revealing the boy behind it.

 

There were tears in his eyes and Henry, having always seemed so old in his behavior, looked every bit the ten-year-old that he was. “Did Emma really do that to you, mom?” his voice sounded so small, so unsure. He prayed he had misheard and that his mom wasn’t really pregnant with Emma’s baby. That the woman who was supposed to save everyone hadn’t really raped his _mom_.

 

But looking at the fresh tears that were now streaming down his mother’s cheeks and the way her body shook with sobs, Henry knew he hadn’t misheard.

 

And so he ignored his pain and walked past his grandmother who was looking at him with sad eyes and stood next to his mother, letting her hold him as tight as she needed to, while he held her just as tight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, life got in the way. I hope you enjoy just the same.
> 
> Disclaimer: none of these characters belong to me. This story is non-profitable and is meant for entertainment purpose only. 
> 
> Trigger warning: references to rape and past abortion via magic!

There was something not quite right. She couldn’t place it, couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Henry hadn’t returned with Snow this evening. Yeah, that was probably it. A heavy feeling had settled itself within her, like there was a rock sitting in her stomach. Emma was sitting anxiously on one of the comfy chairs that were situated in the tiny living room area. She had heard her mother complain many times that they needed to move to someplace bigger, but Emma had quite liked it, back then when it didn’t feel so suffocating, as it did now. She was currently in acute awareness of how small the apartment was, sharing it with her parents and Henry. The walls seemed to close in on her and Emma too had the need to just get out, grab her bug and drive somewhere far away from this suffocating little apartment and this suffocating little town where she was constantly reminded of all the crap that had happened in the last year or so.

 

But Emma tried to be reasonable. She couldn’t do that to Henry, not when she had gotten to know the terrific young boy Regina had raised. Perhaps back when he had been a stranger, sure, but not now. She would hurt him beyond repair and tear herself apart in the process also.

 

And so, she stayed put, trapped in this apartment, trapped in this town. Trying to please her parents and her son, while guilt was slowly eating away at her. Emma was concentrating on listening to her mother making some hot chocolate for the both of them, but thoughts about _that night_ seemed intent on plaguing her this evening. Most days she had been able to push them away and out of her head, but thinking about Henry deciding to stay with his mother weakened her mental defenses. _Did he know something? Had he felt something had gone terribly wrong between both his mothers?_

 

Images of Regina’s terrified expression flashed in her mind’s eye. She could clearly remember the stench of blood mingled with antiseptic, could remember the feeling of Regina’s nails desperately clawing at her forearm. Ripping at skin and flesh. Emma unconsciously moved her fingers over the tiny scars she had attained that night. The whole horrific experience was somewhat fuzzy in her memory, but there were certain aspects that were clear as glass.

 

She could still clearly pinpoint the moment she crossed that invisible line, the point where she could no longer back down. Something strange had come over her, there was a metallic taste in the air and the fine hairs on her arms stood up. Emma had felt the tension in that tiny room raise, but she couldn’t identify what it was. She remembered feeling the sudden, almost inhuman urge to hurt the woman, to terrify her into submission. It had been a horrific thing, like someone had suddenly taken away all the control she had over her body, her actions. Something in her had snapped, and she had pushed through.

 

Her whole world had distorted itself to some strange sense of reality. She had no longer identified the brunette woman in front of her as Regina, mayor and mother of her son. Her mind had stripped away the woman’s human traits, how strange that may sound. ‘Mayor’ had been thrown out of the window, along with ‘mother of her son’. They had been replaced with thoughts like ‘monster’, ‘murderer’ and, even though Emma still couldn’t quite comprehend it, ‘Evil Queen’.

 

“Emma?”

 

Green eyes returned to the now, her mind viciously snapping away from thoughts about that night. Emma clenched her hands, slowly looking up to see her mother staring at her in worried wonder. _Please stop looking at me like that_ was the only thought her mind formed. The motherly concern she had always craved now nauseated her. She was a grown woman for fuck’s sake.

 

“Emma, honey?” Snow was moving slowly, as if she was approaching a wounded animal, careful and calculated. “Did you hear what I said? You seemed so far away for a second there,” that small smile of her returned, the one she used when she couldn’t quite figure out what the situation was at the moment. Emma hated that smile.

 

“Yeah, you’re right, I was thinking,” it was probably the lamest thing to say, but it was all Emma was willing to offer up right now. It was hard enough that her mother knew, but she couldn’t handle talking to the woman about it. It was all too messed up; she had messed it all up. “I’m sorry, my mind is just all over the place right now,” another lame excuse, but it seemed her mother was buying it at least.

 

Again, that fucking smile and Snow slowly sat down on the couch, there was a steaming cup of hot chocolate in her hands and it seemed there had also been one placed in front of Emma on the table. “It’s alright, sweetheart,” Snow’s eyes were sad and her shoulders hunched, anything but the perfect princess posture Emma was sure had been drilled into her at a very young age. She noticed how tired her mother seemed and felt guilty. “I was just saying that we should talk,” and oh, could that sound any more ominous?

 

Emma couldn’t think of anything to say so she just nodded her head softly. “Right…”

 

Comforting and warm, Snow moved to the tip of her seat and placed her hand on her daughter’s thigh. She tried not to get hurt by the way Emma was trying really hard not to make it obvious she was uncomfortable with the touch. She kept it there for a few seconds before retreating. “I wanted to talk about Henry,” She said, taking a tiny sip of the hot liquid in her cup and letting Emma think the subject over. She didn’t want to push Emma in opening up to her, but really, she needed to talk to someone and the offer of visiting Archie had already been furiously declined. “And Regina.”

 

“Right,” she repeated. She didn’t want to talk about them. She really did not want to.

 

Snow seemed pleased her daughter was still talking and hadn’t shut down completely like she normally did when the subject of Regina was brought up. “As I said, Henry decided that it was best if he stayed with Regina for the night and I thought so too. The reason being the thing I need to talk to you about,” Snow sighed over her choice of wording. Yes, she was aware it sounded very… cryptic. But she couldn’t just say outright that her grandson had heard of all the terrible things that had happened to his mother.

 

“Mom, I realize I’m not the best thing for Henry right now and I’m not angry you let him stay with her,” she didn’t want to have this conversation right now. Like she’d said, there was something not quite right and Emma had the dreaded feeling that she was getting closer and closer to finding out what it was.

 

“Emma, the fact that you’re… that you’re feeling sad,” well, that was one way to put it, “and guilty is not my only reasoning behind this decision,” _get on with it, Snow. Get on with it._ “What I’m trying to say, Emma, is that Henry found out.”

 

And just like that, a bucket of fucking freezing water had been dumped right on top of her head. And it truly felt like that. Cold sweat was forming on what felt like her entire body. Her brain seemed to shut down for a moment and everything that had happened was just a distant memory. But reality quickly came knocking on the door, wanting to be let in. Emma closed her eyes for a second, forcing the sudden tears to get the fuck away from her. “Wha- what?” her vocal cords were unable to create a sound and the word came out in a weird sort of groan. She started shaking, forcing her hands into her stomach, willing them to stop moving. She was standing on the edge of a very high cliff, her mind begging her to jump.

 

“Emma?”

 

Her mother’s voice sounded very, very far away and Emma was wondering if she was still in the apartment or if she’d stormed out like she’d dreamed of doing so many times for the last months. But a hand on her thigh confirmed she hadn’t left her chair.

 

She was rooted to the floor in this tiny fucking apartment, in this tiny fucking town filled with all sorts of fucked up storybook characters. She was trapped here with fucking Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood and the Evil Queen, Prince Charming and all the seven fucking dwarves.

 

How the fuck did she end up here?

 

“Emma?” Snow tried again. She placed her hand softly on her daughter’s pale cheek, forcing her head to the side so she could look at her. Green eyes seemed unrecognizable. “Emma, you understand what this means, right?”

 

Everything seemed to go on autopilot and Emma heard herself answer with a soft, uncertain _yes_.

 

“Emma, I know this is terrible and I know you didn’t want Henry to ever know about what has happened. But under the circumstances, this was bound to happen. And I know the way he found out wasn’t ideal, but maybe it was better this way, to just rip the bandage off so he has some time to adjust to the situation before everything changes once again.”

Oh God no… Dread filled her stomach and there was no denying what her mother was getting at. Emma shook her head slowly, tears filling her eyes. “So, she told you I take it?”

 

Snow was quick enough to ensure her jaw didn’t hit the floor. _Emma knew…_ she had been so worried she was forced to spill yet another one of Regina’s secrets, but there was no need. It seemed her daughter was already aware of the cruel twist of fate that plagued the former Queen. “You know Regina is pregnant? How?”

 

Tears formed to heavy drops and slowly rolled down the blonde’s pale cheeks. “She told me,” Emma’s sounded so small, so anguished and it broke Snow’s heart. “She told me right after she saved our lives. Right after she saved us from Cora and that insane pirate. Wheezy breathes left her and Emma started to shake with the effort not to break down in sobs. She pushed her nails in the palms of her hands. “She saved our lives even after I raped her,” it sounded like a realization, a terrible, terrible realization. Snow wondered if Emma had even realized the magnitude of this, if she’d even thought about what it meant that Regina was carrying a child, their child.

 

The thought caused tears to appear in her own eyes as she watched her daughter comprehend this messed up situation. Of course, she hated the things her daughter had done to the woman she once called her stepmother, way back in another lifetime. She hated the pain Emma had inflicted upon the woman who had taught Snow about True Love. But she didn’t hate Emma, she could never hate her daughter, her baby girl.

 

Her pale hands grabbed the blonde’s white tank top as she pulled her child into her, holding on tight in a way she hoped was comforting. One of her hands softly stroked blonde curls.

 

“That’s my child too, mom,” Emma sobbed into her mother’s pink cardigan. Her voice was muffled by the fabric, but Snow could make out a soft _what do I do?_ The rest was only mumbled nonsense to her ears.

 

It was a first, but Snow had nothing comforting to say in that moment.  

 

* * *

 

At least fifteen minutes had gone and went. Snow was still unsure of how to act, what to say to make her daughter’s suffering at least a little bit easier. But this was a delicate situation, one with only victims it seemed and there were no clear-cut directions to follow, no steps to go through.

 

Emma slowly lifted her head from her mother’s shoulder. Her emerald eyes were red and watery, exhaustion clear in them. Snow’s pink cardigan and the white lace blouse she wore underneath it were both completely soaked through, but it seemed that the emotional outburst had not helped Emma one bit. She was still stiff with guilt and fear.

 

“What do I do?” Emma repeated her earlier question, voice sounding hoarse. She stared down at her hands, suddenly feeling too ashamed to look her mother in the eyes. It remained silent for what felt like an eternity, only fueling the uneasiness in the room.

 

She didn’t know how to answer that, had no idea how to respond. But she did know that it was no use to approach Regina at this moment in time. Not when the woman desperately wanted to be left alone, and rightfully so. “I don’t think you should do anything for the next few weeks, Emma. You need to give Regina the time she needs to heal and come to terms with the situation. The woman in traumatized, darling and I’m sorry to say but you are the last person she wishes to see right now,” Snow kept her voice level and firm, willing Emma to understand that she should not go and seek Regina out. “I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, nor do you. So, when that time comes we’ll find out. But I promise you one thing, Emma, your father and I will never stop loving you.”

 

Emma shot her a soft, sad smile. “I know that mom,” she said softly. And it was true, she _did_ know that, but right now the words did nothing to comfort her. “I know I have you and dad, but Regina – Regina has no one. Who will help her? Who’s going to be there for her and for – you know, for the kid?” She cast her eyes down towards her hands, fidgeting restlessly.

 

There was no doubt in her answer this time and Snow was firm as she admitted “I am.” She was sure of it, she would not abandon Regina in this, not like she had done when she gave up on the woman oh so many years ago, when she truly believed there was nothing left to save and the only Regina that remained was a twisted, evil Queen. “I will be there for her, Emma. I am going to get her through this.”

 

* * *

 

There had been no words exchanged since Snow had left the mansion situated at 108 Mifflin Street. No noises made except the occasional hiccup as both mother and son tried to get their emotions under control. And after both had put on a strong front to keep the other from breaking once more, mother and son had been silent. It was the sort of silence that quickly became suffocating and which seemed to weigh a ton, covering them like a thick blanket of sorrow.

 

Regina was the first to move, feeling like she couldn’t take it anymore. Shame and heartbreaking sadness was evident on her face as she slowly began to stand up - how they had made it to the floor she had no idea - though the shame was overbearing at this point. She couldn’t believe she had broken down in front of her son, the one person she had promised herself would _never_ know about the horrid things that had happened to her and the horrid things she herself had done.

 

But now he did and Regina would give everything she owned for him to forget, to just turn back time and tell Henry that he couldn’t get a cookie because it was too close to dinnertime. Or better yet, to the moment where she had decided to make that fucking apple turnover. She didn’t want Henry to lie awake at night with such terrors plaguing his mind, like she herself had done for most of her life. He was just a little boy, _her_ little baby boy.

 

Somewhere in the back of her mind a cold voice told her what she already knew. It had been her own damn fault; she was the one that failed him. She had been weak, unable to even keep a little bit of plain food down.

 

And now Snow White was also aware…

God, she still didn’t know where she stood with the girl. She had seen that compassion in her former stepdaughter’s eyes, plain as day. It was haunting her now, the thought of those light brown eyes was swirling around in her mind. The concern had been genuine, Regina was sure of it. Snow had really been worried about her. She hadn’t even tried to drag Henry back to the apartment, only saying that she understood and that Henry could stay as long as he wanted before taking her leave, softly closing the bathroom door behind her.

 

Regina knew it wouldn’t be a smart idea to keep Henry here, even if he wanted to stay. But she couldn’t keep her heart from jumping at the thought of her little boy living with her again, like he had done the first ten years of his life. It was a selfish reaction and Regina was aware of that because who was she kidding? She was an emotional mess, broken, no doubt about it. This was not a good environment for a child.

 

“Mom?” Henry furrowed his eyebrows as he witnessed the obvious turmoil that went on in his mother’s eyes. Dark eyes that were usually full of warmth and love when she looked at him, even back when he’d rejected her and called her an Evil Queen.

 

With a flinch and some furious blinking to get the tears away, Regina turned towards her son. “Let’s get off the cold floor, Henry. I’ll make us something to drink,” she knew what she was doing and by the looks of it Henry knew too. Avoiding was something she used to be better at, damn you. She tried to smile. “I’m sorry about what happened, Henry. I shouldn’t have-“ _broken down_ was what she wanted to say, but she couldn’t get the words out. “I just shouldn’t have.”

 

He was quick to reply, knowing exactly what the woman who had raised him wanted to apologize for. “No mom,” he shook his head, leaning forward to wrap his arms around her waist, ignoring her surprised flinch when he laid his head on her chest. “Don’t apologize about this, ever,” he tried to sound firm in his words. “I promise I’ll stay with you, I’ll help you with everything, I love you, mom.”

 

New tears formed in her eyes and Regina shook her head at his words, how reassuring they may be, she couldn’t let him do that. “No, Henry. I don’t want you to stay because you feel some obligation to do so, I love you too much for that. I know you want to go back to Snow’s apartment.”

 

Another shake of his head. “Are you kidding me?” he looked at her incredulously. “Do you really think I want to stay with Emma after what she’s done to you?! _You_ are my mom and I love you. Please, just let me help you mom, I don’t want you to go through all this on your own!”

 

The Regina from a year ago would be tearing her hair out right about now if she could see how she was pushing her son towards leaving her. But now was not the time to be selfish. She looked her son in the eyes, hating herself for the words about to leave her mouth. “Let me rephrase that, Henry. I _want_ you to go to Snow’s apartment and stay there for a while.” Her eyes remained locked on his and it took all her strength not to gather the boy up in her arms when she noticed how his bottom lip started to tremble, a tell-tale sign he was close to crying. “I’m not trying to hurt you Henry, I love you so much. Please believe me when I say that this is truly to protect you from this whole situation. You may not understand that right now, but you will. In time.”

 

There was a moment there that both mother and son could do nothing but stare each other in the eyes. It seemed to go on forever before Henry finally looked away and down towards his feet. “So, does that mean I can never come home again?” He sounded so young it broke her heart.

 

“Oh, Henry,” she sighed softly and pulled the boy into her arms. “Of course you can come home, sweetheart. And we can still see each other all the time. I just need some time to get my head straight and when I’m ready I’ll tell you, I promise.”

 

Henry let the words sink in, sad but understanding up to a certain point. “Okay mom,” he sighed softly and twisted his hands, suddenly uncertain how to proceed.

 

Regina tried to smile reassuringly, “Good, now how about we watch a movie, like we used to do and after that I make us some dinner?”

 

Henry broke out in a smile. “Can I choose?“

 

“Of course you can, honey.”

 

And just like that, the air seemed a little easier to breathe. Regina silently promised herself, but more importantly Henry that she would call Archie Hopper in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, reviews are greatly appreciated!


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